Anyone who knows me well knows that I appreciate my “me” time. I’m a strange combination of introverted and extraverted. I’m often the biggest personality in the room amongst friends, and then I shrink into my athleisure clothing over the weekend to recoup my energy solo.
On a normal week, I have the opportunity to get enough social stimuli through work, friends, and chats with family. At the end of my first ten days home, I’m starting to feel disconnected and isolated. It’s necessary, but I’m feeling it big time going into the weekend.
You’ll notice that I’m not talking about “social distancing” in this post, because for us single ladies, it’s next level. It’s social starvation, and I am on “me time” overload.
I can already feel it. I’m getting lonely.
When you’re single, there is fantastic notion and pride in taking care of yourself. Anything you have and that you’ve accomplished is yours and because of you. It could be as simple as paying your electric bill, decorating a room, or unloading the dishwasher. None of these things happen unless you do it.
At the same time, there is a scary feeling tied to being completely self-reliant. Example: I have lived in Colorado for nearly 15 years now, and I’ve never skied. While that sounds insane, I also know that breaking one of my 43-year-old bones would not be in my best interest. So, I have to make safe decisions sometimes.
In the same sense, in light of COVID-19, I can’t get coronavirus. I went down a dark, twisty hole this week thinking about how this would play out if I were to contract it (more on that in another post.) That was a fun night…
All this being said, I’m taking social distancing very seriously. We all should be. While Coloradans are still free to roam the land (but not dine out, get your hair colored, or go to the gym), I’m choosing to stay put.
WORKING FROM HOME
I love working from home. It’s my jam. I get so much done, and I love being close to my kitchen and comfortable. I eat healthy meals. I drink tons of water The bathroom is clean and just 12 steps away (ooo… something to verify.)
My company (unfortunately) has a no “work from home” policy. While they’ve lifted it right now, it’s been a LONG TIME since I’ve been able to work from my home office. If you remember, I redid this space years ago, so it’s bright and comfortable and happy. It’s one of my favorite spaces in my home, and I’m highly productive (and happy!) here.
On Friday, I had a call with our executive team and I knew that they might have a fondness for video. Unlike the other days I’d logged in, I got up and put makeup on and piled my hair on top of my head, suspecting that I might need to show myself on the call. Like clockwork, 40 people logged on WITH VIDEO. And, I have to tell you – – I can’t even believe I’m saying this — I liked it!
It was great to see everyone after not seeing them for a while, and people brought their personalities to the Zoom and during varied speaking parts. Really nice.
But guys, if I’m for VIDEO CALLS, I’m definitely missing people.
MEETING THE NEIGHBORS
I’ve also met my neighbors. This sounds like no big deal, but I’ve lived here for eleven years… and up until this week, I’d met one person. I’ve said hello here and there, but I didn’t know people’s names. You best believe I do now.
I met Bonnie and Katie (and her cute baby who’s name escapes me) and Sheila this week. All very kind and coming together as a little community of helpers. When someone’s outside, you can tell we all need interaction and we just chit chat a little (responsibly from 6 ft away). It’s really nice, and have been some of the bright moments of my week.
GETTING THE MAIL
Hands down, this is my favorite moment of every day. I live in a condo, so I walk to the mailbox bank every day to see what’s up. Most days, it’s bills or those dumb flyers that go straight in the trash (I mean, when do those stop being a thing?) I’ve also been trying to send out cards to friends – – little hellos, as I have to believe that everyone is loving mail right now — and this is where I drop them off to be mailed.
Again, I’m starved for interaction… if you’re getting mail at the same time I am, be prepared. I’m going to chat you up. This, ladies and gents, is where I met my new friend Glennis. I’ve decided Glennis and I are BFF. She probably has a knitting project going right now too. I naturally started up a conversation with Glennis at the mail area about the census paperwork that showed up. I mean, that’s exciting and conversation worthy.
As I was walking away, I turned around and asked Glennis if she had everything she needed. She responded that she just got back from vacation and is having a tough time finding (yes) toilet paper. I gave her my address and told her that I could hook her up with some squares, should she run out. Naturally (like we all do), Glennis said she’d be fine and that she’d keep looking. She also mentioned that she had kleenex she could use too. I reiterated I had extra to share, and we said our goodbyes.
When I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about her and decided to find her in our HOA directory and pop by with some TP. Her unique name made her easy to find, and I bopped over with four megarolls of the Charmin Soft.
Her response when she opened the door reminded me so much of my grandmother. She was just tickled, as Lenora would have been. “I’ll always remember you…” she said with a smile.
What she doesn’t realize though is that I will too, and that moment was hands-down my favorite of the week.
ADDING FACETIME TO MY PHONE
I disabled Facetime on my phone a while back. A courtesy to friends that I used to Facetime late at night after a few too many rosés, everyone seems to want to Facetime and I’m here for it (and using it somewhat responsibly.)
Last night, we had a group Facetime that was a lot of fun and way too much wine. Initially, it seemed like just a fun moment with friends, but I literally can’t even describe how much I needed that.
Protip: You can do group Facetimes. Open a group text conversation, and at the top of the screen, you’ll see an option for Facetime. Click it, and it will initiate a group Facetime. So easy!
If you’re in an office, team virtual happy hours might be a fun idea. We’re having our first one next week with the team; I’ll keep you posted how it goes.
VOLUNTEERING TO DO THINGS
At work, we have a women in technology group that I don’t get super involved in usually. My busy-body self attends when I can, but I don’t typically raise my hand to lead things. UNTIL NOW.
I just set up a virtual book club at work, and the fact that 45 women want to participate WARMS MY FREAKING LONELY HEART. We’re reading Fierce Joy by Susie Rinehart, which is hands down my favorite read of 2019.
We all could use a little Fierce Joy right now, am I right??? As I re-read, I’ll be sharing some highlights and a-ha moments here and on social media. Stay tuned, it’s the most lovely book.
If you could use a little Fierce Joy in YOUR life –> Click Here.
REMEMBERING I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO NEEDS SUPPORT
We all need support. To be clear, you may not be single but everything I mentioned may be tricky challenges you’re facing as well. I hope not (and that you’re feeling a-ok), but if you are it’s completely normal. It’s completely normal to feel lonely. It’s completely normal to feel not lonely.
Let’s all try to reach out to people more often right now. Only good can come from it!
MSGS Tip of the Day: Take a few minutes to send a card to friends and family near and far. We’re all loving happy mail right now, and this could be a little way to spread joy. If you have kids, let them get in on the action too! Artwork + a happy note = BEST MAIL DAY EVER!
Related posts: My Single Girl Story {Navigating COVID-19}: Stocking Up and Settling In My Single Girl Story {Navigating COVID-19}: When You Get Sick Homemade Cabbage Rolls
My Single Girl Story {Navigating COVID-19}: About Social Starvation originally appeared on No Thanks to Cake on 03/21/2020, which is not permitted to be copied on other sites without written permission from the original author.
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