Did you know that around a third of people will enter a “Friends With Benefits” relationship in hopes that it gets serious? Statistically, there are some signs that suggest that casual flings could turn into something a bit more serious.
Recently, I had a guy friend we’ll nickname Ralo* who was in a rather bad situation. He was casually boinking a woman, Vienna*, who was in a really nice spot in her life. I mean, the girl could afford a luxury highrise in Edgewater — those are NOT cheap!
Ralo was not quite as successful as Vienna. He was an aspiring rapper, she was a high-powered corporate executive. He desperately wanted to date her seriously. Eventually, he asked me why Vienna would fuck him but wouldn’t date him.
Honestly, it’s a position more men than you’d expect find themselves in. Here’s the “no cap” honest truth about why girls might be DTF, but never down to date.
She might prefer being single for life.
I’ve already covered this on several articles, namely the one below. But, I’ll say it here too: a lot of women are increasingly unwilling to give up the single life due to the experiences they had with men in the past.
Whether it was an abusive boyfriend, a bad divorce, or just one too many heartbreaks, some women end up just saying no to serious relationships. When they want sex, they have guys drop by. After they’re done, they show them the door.
Unfortunately, it is not a good idea to try to convince a woman who’s made up her mind about men. It just makes you look bad, and moreover, will probably just piss her off.
She might just want your body and not your personality.
Does this happen? Yep, more often than you think. Is this fair? Nope. But, if you have a hot body with a personality that doesn’t match, you probably just got fuckzoned.
She might think that you want her for the wrong reasons.
Most men do not want a woman who is homeless and out on the streets. How do I know this? When I really wanted a man to marry me and help shelter me, no one was there. They were worried that I’d only want them for their money.
Well, surprise, boys. Women think the exact same way. And, I’m willing to bet that this was the situation with Vienna. Women have regularly been told to “build with their man,” and more often than not, get left for another woman once the man’s “built up” enough.
I covered this topic, too.
A lot of women just don’t want to take a chance on a guy who has a lower socio-economic rank than them. I can’t blame them. It’s not like men are much better about this — contrary to popular belief.
Yeah, honestly, I understand why most women won’t date a guy who asks them to “build with them.” It’s a huge risk. And, for someone in Vienna’s shoes, it could end up being a career-ruiner. Heck, it could wreck her bank account too.
I love Ralo, but he’s got no chance with her. She likely pegs him as a gold digger.
She doesn’t think your lifestyle is compatible with hers.
True story: I had a fuckbuddy that was a country boy. He and I got along fine in the bedroom, but we both knew that there was absolutely no way that we could ever be an item.
I mean, my idea of enjoying nature is watching a documentary about cacti. If you put me in a camping area, not only will I likely die due to my sunlight allergy, but I’d also have no idea what I’m supposed to do.
If a girl notices that there are certain things about a man that are incompatible with her lifestyle (bad manners, a criminal record, blue collar living, outdoors life, drug use), then she’s not going to pursue him romantically.
No amount of convincing will matter, either. Women don’t want to be in doomed relationships.
Others around her might find you to be embarrassing.
If you’ve read other things I’ve written, you already know I’m not for everyone. I’m brash, crazy, and bitchy. I also dress weird and refuse to wear a bra because I hate them and they hurt my chest.
Most guys would never seriously date me because they want someone who is socially acceptable — a trophy wife, if you will. That doesn’t mean they wouldn’t fuck me. Trust me, I know.
What most men don’t want to admit is that this road goes both ways. A lot of women will keep a “dirty little secret” under wraps because they enjoy his company, but wouldn’t be caught dead in public with him.
She might be rebounding or have someone else in mind.
Look, I don’t want to be that guy, but I gotta tell you something. A lot of people will sleep with others while they think of an ex. If she recently broke up with a guy, you could be a rebound.
While she might eventually come ‘round, the truth is that most rebound relationships do not work out well. It’s a sign she’s settling for you. Don’t chase her.
I mean, wouldn’t you want someone who didn’t feel like she was settling?
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want a deeper connection with our community, please join us as a Premium Member today.
Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Allef Vinicius on Unsplash
The post Here’s Why She’ll Hook Up With You, but Not Get Serious With You appeared first on The Good Men Project.