I like to scare Carlos because, well, I’m a child. So, when I come home from work I often sneak into the house, knowing he’s in the back office. I creep down the hallway stand at the door watching him on the computer and says:


He always jumps and I always, again, because I’m a child laugh and clap my hands. Now, he has tried to do the same to me, but he doesn’t succeed because, since I do it to him, I am always ready for him, so when he jumps out and says ‘Boo’ I just say ‘Hello.’

One day this week I pulled into the garage and thought of a new tactic. I sent him a text saying I was just leaving work and would be home soon. I crept into the house, and I could hear his Siri reading him my text. Then he sent one back to me saying that dinner was ready. I crept down the hallway; I stood outside the office and saw him on the computer. I texted him, and he asks his Siri to read it to him:

‘Bob sent a new text: ‘Boo.’

And then I yelled ‘Boo’ and had to peel him off the ceiling.

I am such a child.

As I told Carlos, you may think Mary’s outfit was too short, but at least I didn’t see her vagina. Can’t say the same about Melanie.

Remington, the maker of the rifle used in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting to murder 20 first-graders and six teachers in 2012, has been ordered to pay victims’ families $73 million in damages.

Good. It’s a start.

It's OK for a cat to run away and hide under the bed when visitors turn up, but when I do it, I’m called antisocial.

The GOP is outraged about inflation and will running on that in 2022, but …

The Federal Reserve—which is in charge of fighting inflation—has 5 open seats to which President Biden nominated 5 highly qualified candidates and yet the Republicans didn’t even show up to the hearing.

Inflation is the fault of the GOP because they will fuck you and this country to keep themselves in power.

Thing 45’s new social media platform touts the return of Free Speech … if you have $4.99 a week to spend on it.

PS The truth is that $4.99 per week is going right into Thing 45’s pocket.

Dr. Deborah Birx has a memoir coming out that will focus on her contentious time as White House coronavirus task force coordinator in Thing 45’s administration.

Sorry, Deb, not interested in how you goose-stepped along with misinformation and outright lies while people died. You should have had a spine installed when you had the chance.

Sometimes when Carlos is in a hurry, he just hooks my leash to a chain outside the store while he shops inside.

Lauren Boebert has been named “Hottest Woman in Congress” by some MAGAt group, and she proudly posed alongside the award.

Note they spelled her name wrong on the award, and someone used a Sharpie—the Official Pen of QAnon loons and Traitors—to correct it.

Even better, the award came with a gift certificate to Red Lobster.

Garrett Swann is a digital marketing strategist and a social media influencer and model, and openly gay man, and kind of a slat-and-pepper hottie. So, Would You hit It?

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