Every discussion I have leads back to health, wealth, identity, and love. It always comes down to these four factors. When I speak with business owners who are struggling or have big goals, everything they want can be tied back to one of these areas, and sometimes they don’t understand that it’s not those things that they are seeking, but rather to show up in a state of internal, personal power. Internal power will unlock and open every door you desire to have opened. The answer is always inside, yet we always seem to look on the outside.
A New Start
For years I chased titles, power, authority, money, and possession as a means of feeling better about myself. I thought I was looking in the right places because that’s where we are taught to look. I was taught from an early age that life is about getting an education, having a career, succeeding, making a lot of money, getting married, having kids, taking lots of vacations, retiring, and living the remainder of our life in bliss.
I chased the elusive rabbit down the rabbit hole for 43 years until I hit a wall of impenetrable rock. I ran a million miles an hour into an immovable object, and I was the one who shattered. Just as I was taught, I ran as fast as I could, as hard as I could, until I couldn’t run anymore. When I crashed, I was forced to wipe the whiteboard clean and start over. And thank God that I did.
A Tradition of Beliefs
Beliefs such as life is hard, making money is hard, wanting things is selfish, putting yourself first is selfish and marriage is never happy were gifted to me by parents, teachers, pastors, and other leaders. These are just some of the beliefs that were part of my indoctrination into humanity.
The problem is as children we believe anything we are taught from those we trust, so we don’t even stand a chance. We believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny, so we’ll pretty much believe anything we are taught by our family and leaders. The challenge is that eventually we are told that there isn’t a Santa, Tooth Fairy, or Easter Bunny. But our parents and leaders never really let us off the hook for the other beliefs that they believe and have created in their own lives. They think they’re doing us a favor by giving us a heads up and making us aware, but they’re really just setting us up for a painful life.
Of course, these people never intend to hurt us or cause us pain, but some of these beliefs have been passed down for hundreds and thousands of years. Somewhere along the line, our ancestors just accepted them as real for everyone – even though they don’t apply to everyone – and we stopped questioning them and accepted them as real. In the case of the beliefs above, not one of them promotes happiness, peace, or love. They all inflict and create pain and painful circumstances that manifest in our lives.
Our Beliefs Create Our Reality
Our beliefs create our reality, so when we decide to believe painful things, we are making the decision to choose a painful life. As children, we might not be able to discern, but as adults, we certainly have a choice. We can choose the most loving beliefs and the ones that promote joy, not ones that make life difficult. However, when we decide to choose higher beliefs, there’s always folks who feel we are naive and have it all wrong. They choose pain over freedom. That’s their choice, but we can do better.
Ask yourself: what painful and limiting beliefs have you held, and how has this impacted your life?
Raise The Bar
To increase your health, wealth, identity, and love, you must do things and be someone different than you are now. Focus on owning everything in your life. Be humble. You are equal to all, better than none. Your self-worth and value as a human being rest in the fact that you breathe, not in your title, position, power, outcomes, wealth, materials, or anything outside of you. Raise the bar on every area of life, and focus on growth and results.
If you’re afraid of change remember this:
To live the life that most people dream of, you must be willing to do the thing that most people would never dream of doing.
If you are ready to release the struggle in your life for more happiness and success, put some time on my calendar. Let’s talk.
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This post was previously published on Mike Kitko’s blog.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
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 Why I Don’t Want to Talk About Race |
 What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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The post Beliefs Create Reality appeared first on The Good Men Project.