A different ghost story set in the Zombies, Run universe, with some characters stolen from my other tales. To match a hodgepodge tale, a true hodgepodge recipe to finish.
Jennet groaned as she entered the bothie, her nose wrinkling in disgust.
In response Saghani just pointed to where her partner sat on her cot, bootless feet outstretched in front of the small fire.
‘God’s strewth Myf, that smell surely isn’t natural?’ Jennet looked across at the shorter girl, ‘Hani, how the hell do you cope with that stench in your bed every night?’ She stuck her head back outside briefly, drawing a gasp of clean air before making sure the door was barred shut.
‘No idea, still struggling to work out what I see in her.’
Myfanwy casually tossed a boot in the general direction of where Hani was stirring a cook pot.
‘Whatever they smell like, its better than your cooking.’
Saghani and Jennet both looked miserably at the pot.
‘Not arguing there, I came past on the wrong night, didn’t I?’ Jennet sighed and dumped her pack in a corner. By the time she’d finished setting up a bed and sleeping bag, Saghani was dolloping stew on bowls.
‘Pull your bed closer and grab a bowl girl, help me get rid of this mess.’ Myfanwy threw her phone onto the bed as she spoke eliciting a raised eyebrow from Jennet.
‘Expecting a bit much aren’t you? Been at least 5 years since I’ve seen a phone work.’
‘Tricks of the trade. Hook up a few doorbell cameras round the area linked to solar panels, connect up an old phone via Bluetooth and we’ve got site security that pings when we get any movement. Saw you about 5 minutes before you got here. Here, take a look’
‘Bing’
Saghani’s hand strayed towards her bow and Myf’s towards her axe as Jennet looked at the screen.
‘Just a dog’
‘Let me guess, big, black, shaggy, dopey grin, belongs to a mutual acquaintance?’
‘That’s the one, what the frakk is Moose doing out here?’
‘Your husband’s dog – you ask it. If I wanted to speak to animals I’d talk to Saghani.’
Saghani laughed and barked at Myfanwy, teeth gnashing together.
The dog in question mooched his way through the door, guiltily sidling along the wall to look morosely into the cooking pot. After a brief sniff he looked accusingly at Saghani, shook his head and collapsed in front of the fire, tail lifting slightly as a loud fart ripped round the smallholding.
Myfanwy started laughing which changed to a cough as she choked on her food, Jennet stared horrified at the dog and Saghani fell off her cot, pointing at the dog. ‘Definitely your husband’s dog’ she muttered between sharp intakes of breath.
‘With comments like that you won’t want these will you?’ Jennet waved a military issue drinks pack in the air in front of Saghani’s eyes, the hot chocolate sachet sliding back and forth.
Saghani’s plate went flying as she darted across the room barreling Jennet over to grab the package, her eyes burning with lust. Gripped tightly in her hands she started dancing round the room screeching with delight.
Myfanwy watched her lover with a happy smile, ‘Where on earth did you get that?’
Jennet smiled and threw a couple of MRE packets to Myf. ‘I came across a soldier on the way up here. I’d had to take a long cut to dodge a bunch of Zoms at the edge of the moors and his body was stuck in a small stream. Looks like he broke his leg running through the gorse. Bodies years old but I was able to rifle through his gear. Some dry pistol rounds, a water bladder and a pack full of food. Out of date but trust me, the chocolate was fine. Even found some dry toilet paper. And before you get any ideas, I did find the pistol and I will fight you for it’
‘What size were the boots? I’m getting complaints about mine being a biological weapon’
‘Didn’t think to check, I did give Sam the co-ordinates though so we can do a follow up and get the rest of his gear.’
Myfanwy nodded, slipping the food packs into her bag. She pulled a packet of wipes from inside, waving them at Jennet. ‘Not the only one who found some treasures this run, all mine.’ Carefully she drew one from the packaging before pulling up her eyepatch. With slow strokes she cleaned around the socket, gently dabbing the scar tissue and along the edges of the leather.
Saghani stopped her dancing and came over, her hands cupping Myfanwy’s face, her lips brushing her forehead. ‘Bad day?’
‘Just grit rubbing.’
Saghani took the wipe from her hands, turning it to find a clean spot and ran it round again. ‘It is looking a little red, best you leave it off for now.’
A while later all three sat, boots off, dog snoring, staring into the flames, each nestling a warm drink. Jennet pulled a flask from her pocket and unscrewed the lid before pouring a dollop into her coffee, Saghani merrily poured a tot of it into her chocolate while Myfanwy just shook her head. ‘My turn to listen out for the camera’s.
’Big chocolate smear across her top lip, Saghani sighed. ‘This reminds me of the days at home, when my people would sit round the fire and play music and tell ghost stories.’
‘Living in the middle of an apocalypse not enough of a ghost story for you?’
‘This is easy. I’ve been chased by wolves and bears, charged by walrus, nearly drowned under ice, been lost in a blizzard and separated from my people for way too long. Zombies are nothing compared to waking up with a bear licking your face.’
‘Oh my god, what did you do?’
‘Learnt to run naked in the snow. My father was up for killing me for losing my gear till I explained what happened. We went back later on and the bear had ripped straight through my sleeping gear and taken off with my pack.
’Myfanwy grinned and pointed at the dog, ‘Every time I see that scruffy thing I’m reminded of tales from my youth. Ghostly hounds that wandered the night, collecting souls. The worst were the Grim, an old practice that should never have been.’
She licked her lips slowly and took a sip of tea.
‘You see, in the old days the druids would often consecrate a site by blessing it with animals’ blood, a practice that the Christian church frowned upon. But the old ways have a habit of lingering on, just look at the horse shoe here, nailed above the door. You know it’s for good luck, but ask your grandmother or any of the village folk that would have lived here, that’s there to keep the fae from the animals, and I’ll bet you if you go to the farmhouse you’ll find a pair of scissors on the wall in the child’s room above the bed to stop the bairn being swapped for a changeling.’
‘But back to the Grim. The blood practice continued in different ways and accumulated different legends ending up with the Devil and the Churchyard. The tale goes that the Devil won a bet with Jesus so that he could claim the first soul buried in every graveyard. In some places the tale also says the Devil would claim the first soul across a new bridge and has the same sad approach to a solution. Being very literal thinkers, as the church was being built, they would kill a dog and lay it’s body in the walls so that the Devil would take the dog’s soul. Some days I’m so glad I don’t share a religion with half of you.’
‘Of course, the souls of the dogs weren’t happy at this deal so it is said that at night the spirit of the hound would appear to visitors to the graveyard, baying at their chosen victim, warning of their doom. The last thing the victim would know was the pounding of a dog’s feet, its hot breath on his neck as it’s cries rang in his ears. As Coleridge put it “Like one, that on a lonesome road doth walk in fear and dread, and having once turned round walks on, and turns no more his head; Because he knows, a frightful fiend doth close behind him tread.” Don’t look at me like that – I had to read the poem in school’‘
’Now, why should I choose to tell you this story? Explain this to me. How come I can only see that dog with the eye I don’t have anymore?’
Jennet looked from Myfanwy to Saghani to the dog then back to Myfanwy. ‘Very funny, that dog’s about as much a ghost as you are.’
Myfanwy stared at her, and very slowly turned her head to the barred entrance way.
‘Then tell me this, how did he get in here when you locked the door behind you?’
A few notes…
Saghani’s cooking is as dreadful as it sounds. In another world her and Myfanwy are new lovers and have a very deep, loving and supportive relationship. The dish she is trying to cook is a variation on one Myfanwy taught her, a traditional hot pot. The lack of potato, an oven to cook in, seasoning, all of these are minor technical difficulties. If you want to give a simple hotpot a go, my recipe is below.
Simple Hotpot
In a pan gently fry leeks, onions, carrots, parsnip, turnip, whatever left over veg you have to hand with some salt, pepper, herbs and cubed left over meat. If using gammon don’t add salt! While it’s frying thinly slice some potatoes and make up some stock. Put a layer of potato in the bottom of a casserole dish, then layer up with veg mix and potato finishing with a layer of potatoes. Fill around 2/3 deep with stock and put in the oven at around 170C for 90-120 minutes. When the potatoes crisp up on the surface it should be ready to eat.
On a separate note, the grim image came from a Google search and I’m unable to credit the artist. If you know the artist, please let me know to give due credit.