By Intomore
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“Stay positive. You can’t have bad sex if you’re having no sex.”
Comedian Justin Randall gives his top ten tips for dating during a quarantine.
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:00 hello I am Justin Randall and I am 00:02 inside of my home hopefully you are too 00:06 in yours not mine 00:08 okay stay home you know I do think that 00:10 I’m still gay but I can’t be sure 00:12 because I haven’t seen a man in 15 years 00:14 I think I’m starting to forget what they 00:16 look like all I can imagine is like the 00:18 faint outline of someone who won’t text 00:20 me back is that right 00:21 I need help that’s why I came up with 00:24 some tips to get us all through this 00:25 these are my top 10 tips to dating 00:28 during a quarantine number 10 post a 00:34 thirst trap it’ll make you feel good for 00:36 at least 35 seconds believe me I counted 00:39 plus your crush might DM you and if they 00:42 don’t just try again every single day or 00:44 the rest of your life number 9 stay 00:47 positive 00:48 no one’s getting laid right now but if 00:49 you look on the bright side you can’t 00:51 have bad sex if you’re having no sex 00:53 some of our sex lives might actually 00:55 improve number eight use Google Maps if 00:58 you’re just dying to get out of the 01:00 house ask some in their location and 01:01 then pretend to walk they’re using 01:03 Google Street View it’ll feel just like 01:05 you’re going to hook up only you don’t 01:07 have to do Sh first that’s a life hack 01:08 number seven fill out that whole profile 01:11 big look you got nothing but time and we 01:13 want to get to know you and by that I 01:16 mean I’m tired of asking how tall you 01:18 are it’s awkward I’ll sleep with you 01:19 regardless I just want to know what 01:20 shoes I should wear number six try and 01:23 learning someone’s name it won’t kill 01:25 you just put a name with a torso I 01:27 promise once this is all over we can go 01:29 back to learning each other’s names on 01:31 the way out the door 01:32 number five start tapping people on 01:34 Grindr it’s like a video game 01:36 only horny go crazy tap everyone you 01:39 like once except for profiles that say 01:41 no taps you should tap them twice 01:43 number four update your nudes look nudes 01:47 are like headshots they need to be 01:49 current and I always print mine out in 01:51 eight-by-tens 01:52 photoshoots can be fun try some new 01:54 angles and don’t worry if you don’t have 01:56 a tripod just ask your roommate for help 01:59 number three make the phone date oh my 02:02 god you guys let’s reclaim the art of 02:04 conversation not to mention it can be 02:08 see don’t be like mmm what are you 02:10 wearing and you can be like pajamas for 02:12 the 14th day in a row 02:14 that’s hot number two share your venmo 02:17 share it everywhere you never know who’s 02:20 got their eye on you money can’t buy 02:22 your luck but it can buy you another 02:24 only fan subscription and that’s just as 02:27 good especially if you find the right 02:28 guy trust me 02:29 lastly have zoom sex bitch literally 02:32 everyone else’s it’s as close as you’re 02:34 gonna get to the real thing 02:35 and it’s better than FaceTime because 02:37 you can do it with 15 people sounds like 02:39 a regular monday am i right and that’s 02:41 it those are my top 10 tips to dating 02:43 during the quarantine if you think I 02:45 left anything out 02:46 leave a comment because I need all the 02:48 help I can get I’m Justin Randall I love 02:50 you stay safe and stay home 02:52 [Music]
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This post was previously published on YouTube and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video
The post Top 10 Tips for Dating During Quarantine appeared first on The Good Men Project.
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